Jasmine
Contacting Jasmine
Federation handle:
@jasmine@chaosfem.tw
Jasmine's Information
|
pronouns |
she/her |
|
class |
technically a cryptid |
|
modifiers |
flirty, shifty, recondite, acute |
Jasmine's Bio
Changeling baby emerita and single mum to a preschooler. Neuroqueer relationship anarchist but being really weird about it. Toots untoot.
Jasmine's Posts
Jasmine has 194 posts.
Pinned
Jasmine
In response to this posttry me
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Jasmine
In response to this posttransition selfies thread
August, 2 years! I started walking for several hours per day, for both my mental and physical health.
There are so many mornings now when I wake up, put on my old worn out glasses, go to the bathroom and see a girl in the mirror. It's so joyful! Even if it's still sometimes confusing after so many years thinking that this was impossible. It clearly isn't though. š„°
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Jasmine
Here's some music I made. I'm pinning this and will update it if I publish more. I'll try naming the genresābut I kind of consider all of it to be nu jazz.
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Jasmine
Hiii! #introduction (boosts welcome!)
To you queers I'm Jasmine [ŹasĖmiĖn], neuroqueer baby emerita and silly mum to a lovely preschooler.
Most of my life was about music, until I eventually switched to philosophy, and then to politics, and eventually to myself. There's been a bunch of special interests and uncountable hyperfixations, and I've likely moved on from more things than most approach in the first place.
I'm on a mental health journey, uncovering, recovering, untangling and rebraiding my whole life. It is really taking me places. And I love the person I'm becoming! So I post a lot of selfies, but the changes on the inside are honestly the best ones. I'm learning so much every day!! š„°
I'm a relationship anarchist! Flirting is fun as long as everybody's reading the roomājust don't make it weirder than me please.
Lots of love! š
[image CW: eye contact]
Tags: #introduction
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Jasmine
My important trans threads!
These three were pinned individually before, but I want to pin other things too, so I'm linking them instead now.
The quote that made me accept myself
On trans joy as the solution
Transitioning is an act of radical self-love
1/
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Jasmine
In response to this posttransition selfies thread
April: 20 months of HRT.
Continuing to improve my makeup skills. I started a new work training programme! Worked at a cafe the first week and had to stuff my hair into this little cap while wearing a workplace uniform. That was really scary, because my gender presentation now had to rely entirely on makeup, voice and the way I moved, while I simultaneously started using the women's locker room.
But I made it! The staff at this place clearly had a strategy in place to make me feel safe. I only really got misgendered by three people (out of dozens and dozens of other programmes participants) and the staff meticulously corrected them each time, sometimes even inserting themselves into conversations just to gender me correctly in front of people who didn't "get it".
This was my first experience with meeting new people after fully transitioning socially 8 months earlier. The confidence boost I got was huge! š„°
transition selfies thread
May, 21 months. I turned 41 years old! There was work training, but now at a car wash. And I almost reached my pre-transition weight again, which unfortunately made most of my clothes impossible to wear.
by Jasmine ;
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Jasmine
In response to this posttransition selfies thread
yay let's go! another six months!!
Here's March first. I tried to start running again but failed. Got misgendered a bunch too. Honestly I was quite tired a lot of the time, but still had some silliness in me.
I had switched to injections in mid-February and I stopped taking androcur in mid-March.
transition selfies thread
April: 20 months of HRT.
Continuing to improve my makeup skills. I started a new work training programme! Worked at a cafe the first week and had to stuff my hair into this little cap while wearing a workplace uniform. That was really scary, because my gender presentation now had to rely entirely on makeup, voice and the way I moved, while I simultaneously started using the women's locker room.
But I made it! The staff at this place clearly had a strategy in place to make me feel safe. I only really got misgendered by three people (out of dozens and dozens of other programmes participants) and the staff meticulously corrected them each time, sometimes even inserting themselves into conversations just to gender me correctly in front of people who didn't "get it".
This was my first experience with meeting new people after fully transitioning socially 8 months earlier. The confidence boost I got was huge! š„°
by Jasmine ;
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Jasmine
If I don't regret this now I'm going to regret it later.
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Jasmine
In response to this posttry me
[eye contact]
try me
[eye contact]
by Jasmine ;
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Jasmine
In response to this posttry me
[eye contact]
try me
[eye contact]
by Jasmine ;
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Jasmine
In response to this posttransition selfies thread
And here I am in March, and since then I am again opening up, and I don't actually know to what this time, because it's too deep. But I'll get back to you in six months or soā¦ āØ
transition selfies thread
yay let's go! another six months!!
Here's March first. I tried to start running again but failed. Got misgendered a bunch too. Honestly I was quite tired a lot of the time, but still had some silliness in me.
I had switched to injections in mid-February and I stopped taking androcur in mid-March.
by Jasmine ;
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Jasmine
In response to this posttransition selfies thread (cw: mild nudity)
18 months! It's February! I'm switching from gel+cypro to injection monotherapy now, and the months of microdosing are over.
I'm still exploring this new way I look. It's like every emotion I try to express just shows up! I can feel a thing and when I look at myself feeling it it is visible!! I've never experienced this! It's like I've been in a hazmat suit my whole life but now it's gone.
I have so many emotions now. š
transition selfies thread
And here I am in March, and since then I am again opening up, and I don't actually know to what this time, because it's too deep. But I'll get back to you in six months or soā¦ āØ
by Jasmine ;
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Jasmine
In response to this posttransition selfies thread
(Still January) And things continued to happenā¦
It's astounding how this person was always there inside of me. I myself knew it! But you really couldn't see it from the outside. I never got to really try actually being like this before, so I was always a bit shaky on the detailsābut I did know. And now that I have what's needed to show up as myself, I've finally been able to prove to myself that I was right.
transition selfies thread (cw: mild nudity)
18 months! It's February! I'm switching from gel+cypro to injection monotherapy now, and the months of microdosing are over.
I'm still exploring this new way I look. It's like every emotion I try to express just shows up! I can feel a thing and when I look at myself feeling it it is visible!! I've never experienced this! It's like I've been in a hazmat suit my whole life but now it's gone.
I have so many emotions now. š
by Jasmine ;
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Jasmine
In response to this posttransition selfies thread
January! 17 months. After the December crisis, I'm feeling much more myself and even freer now than before.
This transition really has been a long, continuous, heavy work dealing with all the layers of shame I'd wrapped myself up and mummified myself in. By now I'd been transitioning for over two years in total.
Still have to shave daily though. Ugh
transition selfies thread
(Still January) And things continued to happenā¦
It's astounding how this person was always there inside of me. I myself knew it! But you really couldn't see it from the outside. I never got to really try actually being like this before, so I was always a bit shaky on the detailsābut I did know. And now that I have what's needed to show up as myself, I've finally been able to prove to myself that I was right.
by Jasmine ;
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Jasmine
In response to this posttransition selfies thread
December! Sixteen months now, and I'm forced to start microdosing my estradiol to make supplies last longer.
I also had a crisis which cost me a lot of energy, but eventually resolved some pretty significant old trauma, at least sufficiently that I had to rewrite my rules for what's allowed into my life. Previously I only accepted my child and my transition to take space, but now I added rules that says I also need self-acceptance (for the full spectrum of my neurodivergence) and love.
transition selfies thread
January! 17 months. After the December crisis, I'm feeling much more myself and even freer now than before.
This transition really has been a long, continuous, heavy work dealing with all the layers of shame I'd wrapped myself up and mummified myself in. By now I'd been transitioning for over two years in total.
Still have to shave daily though. Ugh
by Jasmine ;
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Jasmine
In response to this posttransition selfies thread
So I decided to just have fun! This is my face now and I can do what I want with it.
And actually having someone to talk to now made such a huge difference in so many ways. Especially when she's one of those few special people you're only ever going to meet a handful of. š„°
Anyway, that's November, after 15 months of HRT. Lots of puberty happening now, with a not insignificant amount of 40yo silliness on top.
transition selfies thread
December! Sixteen months now, and I'm forced to start microdosing my estradiol to make supplies last longer.
I also had a crisis which cost me a lot of energy, but eventually resolved some pretty significant old trauma, at least sufficiently that I had to rewrite my rules for what's allowed into my life. Previously I only accepted my child and my transition to take space, but now I added rules that says I also need self-acceptance (for the full spectrum of my neurodivergence) and love.
by Jasmine ;
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Jasmine
In response to this posttransition selfies thread
November. My āordinaryā selfies this month were just surprise after surprise after surprise. How is this me!?
transition selfies thread
So I decided to just have fun! This is my face now and I can do what I want with it.
And actually having someone to talk to now made such a huge difference in so many ways. Especially when she's one of those few special people you're only ever going to meet a handful of. š„°
Anyway, that's November, after 15 months of HRT. Lots of puberty happening now, with a not insignificant amount of 40yo silliness on top.
by Jasmine ;
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Jasmine
In response to this posttransition selfies thread
I also started getting more creative with my selfies in October. I felt much more comfortable with my face now and didn't feel as awkward trying things out.
Aaand I had this lil fedi crush that I handled in my usual super avoidant manner: After asking trees for help and revisiting my magical childhood, in the pic with the purple hoodie I'm on my way out to finish casting a spell that took several days, a question meant to force the universe to answer now already with what would be the eventual truth.
And it worked! What was the answer? It surprised me. š
transition selfies thread
November. My āordinaryā selfies this month were just surprise after surprise after surprise. How is this me!?
by Jasmine ;
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Jasmine
In response to this posttransition selfies thread (cw: mild nudity, buttposting)
Ok so October thenā¦ hah š
This is where things started getting interesting. Sure, it started out pretty ordinarilyā¦ but then someone made me take a photo of my own buttāthe one in the compression shortsāandā¦
š¤Æ
Because I had absolutely no fucking idea that this had happened! It's behind me at all times so how should I be expected to know!?
Anyway, this was fun! Off I went!!
transition selfies thread
I also started getting more creative with my selfies in October. I felt much more comfortable with my face now and didn't feel as awkward trying things out.
Aaand I had this lil fedi crush that I handled in my usual super avoidant manner: After asking trees for help and revisiting my magical childhood, in the pic with the purple hoodie I'm on my way out to finish casting a spell that took several days, a question meant to force the universe to answer now already with what would be the eventual truth.
And it worked! What was the answer? It surprised me. š
by Jasmine ;
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Jasmine
In response to this posttransition selfies thread
September, 13 months.
Pink shirt: Totally exhausted after a whole day of a little kids' party, I expected my āgirlmodeā to have failed, butā¦ it was fine! And I realised it's actually just me that looks like this.
Yellow shirt: My favourite outfit! People seemed to not notice me so much in it, and I liked that.
Blue jacket: Challenged my dysphoria with this picture, and kind of could accept it, which was a big step.
Running getup: Up until now I'd been trying to look like a cis man when running, but this picture changed that. I look sad because I was expecting much worse from this selfie than what actually happened.
Behind the scenes: My libido is returning, confirming my suspicions since May that I am indeed no longer ace, but bi or pan.
transition selfies thread (cw: mild nudity, buttposting)
Ok so October thenā¦ hah š
This is where things started getting interesting. Sure, it started out pretty ordinarilyā¦ but then someone made me take a photo of my own buttāthe one in the compression shortsāandā¦
š¤Æ
Because I had absolutely no fucking idea that this had happened! It's behind me at all times so how should I be expected to know!?
Anyway, this was fun! Off I went!!
by Jasmine ;
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Jasmine
In response to this posttransition selfies thread
Ok! Let's continue! I'll use more words for this part.
It's still August 2023 and I'm at 12 months HRT. Having just changed my legal name and come out publicly, I was now going out into the world as myself every day without exceptions.
This meant a shift. Previously I'd been presenting like a (feminine) cis man, making excursions into presenting as a woman. But now when that was my new baseline, I instead started making excursions from my everyday female presentation instead of to it.
In other words, I began exploring and creating my new social identity, as one does during puberty. :akko_smile2:
For the picture of my crossed legs, I used this fun phrase: āSitting here in an oversized flannel shirt some guy left behind in my closet when she came out of there.ā That was part of how I tried to establish my ānewā identity with the cis people from my old lifeāthe ones that didn't opt to stay behind when I came out. (I lost like two thirds of my network.)
transition selfies thread
September, 13 months.
Pink shirt: Totally exhausted after a whole day of a little kids' party, I expected my āgirlmodeā to have failed, butā¦ it was fine! And I realised it's actually just me that looks like this.
Yellow shirt: My favourite outfit! People seemed to not notice me so much in it, and I liked that.
Blue jacket: Challenged my dysphoria with this picture, and kind of could accept it, which was a big step.
Running getup: Up until now I'd been trying to look like a cis man when running, but this picture changed that. I look sad because I was expecting much worse from this selfie than what actually happened.
Behind the scenes: My libido is returning, confirming my suspicions since May that I am indeed no longer ace, but bi or pan.
by Jasmine ;
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Jasmine
In response to this posttry me
[eye contact]
try me
[eye contact]
by Jasmine ;
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Jasmine
In response to this posttry me
[eye contact]
try me
[eye contact]
by Jasmine ;
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Jasmine
In response to this posttry me
[eye contact]
try me
[eye contact]
by Jasmine ;
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Jasmine
In response to this posttransition selfies thread
And that's my first year on hormones in pictures!
I liked this year very much in the end. The best part was finding out what a life worth living feels like. š
Thank you all for coming to my trans talk. š
transition selfies thread
Ok! Let's continue! I'll use more words for this part.
It's still August 2023 and I'm at 12 months HRT. Having just changed my legal name and come out publicly, I was now going out into the world as myself every day without exceptions.
This meant a shift. Previously I'd been presenting like a (feminine) cis man, making excursions into presenting as a woman. But now when that was my new baseline, I instead started making excursions from my everyday female presentation instead of to it.
In other words, I began exploring and creating my new social identity, as one does during puberty. :akko_smile2:
For the picture of my crossed legs, I used this fun phrase: āSitting here in an oversized flannel shirt some guy left behind in my closet when she came out of there.ā That was part of how I tried to establish my ānewā identity with the cis people from my old lifeāthe ones that didn't opt to stay behind when I came out. (I lost like two thirds of my network.)
by Jasmine ;
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