Fi's Post

Time to share all the stitchy stuff here...again.

This pattern is called Death by Cross Stitch, it is by Long Dog Samplers. Stitched on white 16ct aida fabric, using approx 370 metres of black DMC thread, 6 needles used. Final stitched area is - 55cm wide and 69cm high.
It took me 2 years to complete this, with lots of breaks.

This was a labour of love, a challenge and a reward to myself. Part of my #MentalHealth journey.

A few years ago, I was in a really bad place, had made an attempt to take my own life. Then I fought for help, was told I didn't meet criteria for mental health support from the NHS. I managed to get counselling through the local carers centre which did help. After an argument with my GP, who screamed at me "What do you want me to do?", and my response of "your job, refer me to psychology", I got an appointment with a trainee psychologist for CBT. Now anyone who is autistic knows that CBT is an absolute load of shite - or it is for me anyway, my brain is suddenly going to be fixed with 6 sessions telling me to change how I think. Anyways, I told that trainee that as a reward for keeping myself alive, I was going to start "Death by Cross Stitch"....I think at that point, she realised that my sense of humour is a bit warped.

Counselling helped more than CBT. Cross stitch is what keeps me alive more than anything. I've been accused of being obsessed with stitching...and yes, I am, because it calms me and stops me disappearing on a downward spiral. Its a form of mindfulness for me, nothing else exists when I stitch and my brain calms down - which is really handy when ADHD is yelling at me to move, but my broken body is begging for me to sit down.

Studies have been done that show how beneficial crafting can be for mental health, and I fully agree with them. Death by Cross Stitch kept me living, and signing my death certificate (the final page in the pattern bundle) was a happy moment.

So yeah, thats the story behind why I tortured myself with Death by Cross Stitch. Pandemic will be my next Long Dog Sampler...once I start another dozen projects that is.

I'll keep stitching to keep myself alive.

#CrossStitch #MentalHealth #Autism #ADHD #Disabled